There are things that are going on right now that I never, ever want to forget. I never want to forget how it felt the first time he held my hand. I never want to forget how every time he kisses me he makes me melt. I never want to forget the feeling of losing my breath just by being lip to lip, close but not quite touching. I never want to forget how his hands feel on my back. I never want to forget the look on his face when he sees me after it’s been a couple of days. I never want to forget how he smells, how he tastes, how he feels. I never want to take his desire to be with me for granted.
I always want to remember the way he kissed me so thoroughly and unexpectedly on the Granville Station escalator, his way of distracting me from my fear of heights. I always want to remember the way he opens up his arms to me and lets me snuggle in. I always want to remember the feeling in my tummy when we sway together in the kitchen, his thumbs running down my spine.
I can feel my heart shattering every time he kisses me. I feel it breaking into a million pieces every time I think about the future. I feel him crushing it every time we’re together and so the heart that I started out with is no longer the one that beats in my chest. I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say or think or do. I worry that this may break me, that I finally have what I’ve been waiting for and that I’ll never be able to recover from it. I’m scared to death and it’s the best kind of fear I’ve ever felt.
